Doug cut Ethan's umbilical cord. I was surprised he did that. He's a bit squeamish normally, but he didn't even hesitate. It seemed important to him to have a role in bringing his son into this world. From the beginning, Doug has been a loving and present parent. Despite his job requiring a lot of Doug's time and focus, when Doug is with Ethan he gives him his full attention. It was clear as s oon as Ethan started exploring the world that Doug was going to be a stellar guide. He meets Ethan wherever Ethan is and has done so from day one. That first year was quite an adventure for both Doug and me. We were discovering what kind of parents we wanted to be. We were also learning more about who we were as people--what our values were, what our priorities were, and how we wanted to live in the world. It wasn't easy. We were in a new country, in a city very different from any we'd ever lived before. Doug was beginning his career as a professor, responsible for new s
This month Ethan's going to be 16. That feels big. Our first few months together were probably the hardest. I was afraid, sad, overwhelmed, alone, terrified at the idea of being responsible for someone other than myself. None of those emotions are what I imagined a new mother would/should be feeling, but I was experiencing them in abundance. One afternoon, Ethan and I were sitting together. He was in his bouncy chair beside me. I was on our computer. He had been asleep, but he awoke. I heard him chirp and saw his one leg move to bounce his chair. He did this often--bounce his leg to bounce his chair. It was cute and seemed so clever to me. I looked over at him and smiled. He smiled back. Next, I made a funny face and a silly lip-flapping sound as I moved to kiss him on the neck. I stopped midway as a sound I'd never heard before emerged from the bottom of his belly. Curious, I made the funny face and silly sound again. He made his sound again too, but this time I recognized